The Cook, The Thief, His Wife And Her Lover – Michael Nyman

When I worked in Saudi Arabia I shared a staffroom with possibly the poshest person I have ever met. Thoroughly nice chap though and a fantastic educator, over 4 years in the staffroom he gave me a crash course in classic music. This has allowed me to keep my head above water in certain dinner party conversations where I would normally have drowned. I once asked him if he played air violin when he was listening to stuff at home. He gave me a startled look and then sheepishly admitted to probably doing some kind of air conducting most days. I wondered if there was a rock music equivalent to air conducting, maybe air producing, sitting nodding slighly to music, or moving an air master volume slider up and down on an air mixing desk.
I bought this album after seeing the film in 1989 and still love it, especially Memorial and the sublime Book Depository. So tonight I decided to retire to the man-cave and listen to Memorial and play a little air violin, unfortunately about 2 minutes in I knocked my coffee onto the floor leaving a huge stain on the carpet. I ran downstairs to get a wet cloth, and tried to scrub out the stain. While I was doing this Memorial was still playing and I started to scrub in time with the music, which was odd. Later my wife came upstairs and asked why there was a big brown stain on the carpet, I furtively tried to seek a more rational/plausible/normal answer, however I couldn’t so I told her I was playing air violin, she just shook her head and sighed.
Two word review; Pretentious moi

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